When I Need to Trust Him


When I Need to Trust Him

Nicki Koziarz

“But I trust in you, O LORD; I say, ‘You are my God.'” Psalm 31:14 (NIV 1984)

It was news that made my heart ache like no other. Nothing would ever be the same.

I climbed into my red Jeep Wrangler, buckled my seat belt, and sped down a dark country road. The night sky was clear but I could barely see through the tears that poured down my face.

I flipped off the radio and screamed at God, “Why?! Why did you allow this to happen?”

Pressing my foot on the brake, I pulled over and parked on the side of the road. The air was cold and the silence was eerie.

Do you trust Me? I sensed God whisper.

The question climbed through layers of my doubts and skepticism. Truth be told, I didn’t trust God.

Oh, I trusted Him when things were good, when life was easy. But in the lowest moment of my life? I didn’t really trust Him.

I wish I could tell you Jesus showed up in my car that night and I have never distrusted God again. But that is the furthest thing from the truth.

It would be years before I could say I trusted God again. And even today … I have trust issues with Him.

Why is trusting God so hard?

The obvious answer is, you can’t see Him.

Then there’s the sensible rebuttal, He’s mysterious.

Or the overused answer, God’s ways are just not our ways.

But today I’m thinking that trusting God is so much more than just a position we accept.

Trusting God is a place of response.

In my desperate situation that night what I really wanted to say to God was, “I need to trust You more than ever.” Yet my soul and my mouth didn’t know how to connect that thought.

I need to trust You.

On days filled with uncertainty and fear, this practice of verbally placing our trust in Him can be powerful.

Today as I learn to trust God more, here are some things I’m saying aloud:

Jesus, I need to trust You more than ever to believe that You work all things out for my good. (Romans 8:28)

Jesus, I need to trust You more than ever to fight this battle I am facing. (Exodus 14:14)

Jesus, I need to trust You more than ever to be my God who provides beyond my limitations. (Philippians 4:19)

That night part of my lack of trust for God was from my own failure. I had fallen far from God – yet in that painful moment, He was still the One I turned to. I can’t help but believe it is in our moments of complete brokenness we are able to experience God’s faithfulness and presence by daring to turn to Him and learning to trust Him again.

What do you need to trust Jesus more than ever for today?

Dear Lord, I am thankful for the trust You offer me. I ask today that You would help me to move towards trusting You more with every detail of my life. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

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